VBVW for September 5, 2008: Laborious Days

• The Very Best

Four more years! That’s the rallying cry in Republican circles this week, only it was heard at the courthouse rather than at the convention. Lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who defrauded Indian tribes and traded gifts for political favors, has been given a four-year sentence on charges of conspiracy, mail fraud, and tax evasion.

Gustav spared New Orleans, three years to the day after the city was devastated by Katrina. Heckuva job, somebody.

Neuroscientists have for the first time seen how the brain retrieves memories, which may provide a new avenue for curing Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Researchers observed that the same brain neurons activated in a first-time experience are fired again when…wait, what was I saying?

• The Very Worst

Hurricane Ike is making up for Hurricane Gustav’s lackluster death toll. More than 90 Haitians have been killed by floods and landslides. Hanna and Josephine are not far behind.

A Cleveland landlord prevailed in court to be allowed to collect rent from his tenants in gold. So if they don’t pay, do they get thrown in gaol and flogged in the public square?

Actress Mackenzie Phillips, who was kicked off of “One Day At A Time” for drug use nearly 30 years ago, has been busted for possession of cocaine, heroin, and a hypodermic needle — in an airport. Let’s see Schneider fix this one.